I had a dream..some poetic thoughts...which lead to this question - Can we create LOVE?
Sometimes amongst the hectic day today activities, we find a small moment where we sit still thinking of different thoughts. Some about childhood, some about college, some about a movie or a book read long time back. But when I had a similar still moment, I thought of one never changing factor in ever changing lives: Love.
Few days back my brother said, "when we become parents the respect for our parents grows immensely." In our childhood, we are so vulnerable and in need of constant attention. As a grownup our parents know the importance of care a baby needs. They know what love is, but when we as an infant start to walk for the first time - did we manage to create love for our parents? Or when we say papa, mama for the first time - did we bring that tear in our parents eyes, filling their heart with warm love?
I grew up in a family of four, mama, daddy, my elder bro and me. Elder brother and I have fought zillions of times only to make our mother go mad & angry. Being considerably weak, I restore to act of hit & run or verbal dual. Though in school, the story was completely inverse. Mother asking my elder bro to keep me safe meant I go around bossing everyone and get away with any trouble. On one of these mafia rounds, unknowingly I tampered with a senior's sport equipment during recess, only to get a tight slap. The mafia clan was scared off, but one of my right hand (as I used to say him in the 90s) reported the incident to my elder brother. All I know that I was called to the principal office next class and my brother was standing with clothes full of dirt. I never realize until the class teacher told me in principal office that my brother has beaten the crap of my senior (he was younger to my brother though). The guy was left with swollen eye or something (if my memory servers me right). Once I narrated the story of being slapped, the principal was happy to see elder brother carrying & looking out for the younger one. We got off with a slap on the wrist. Once out, my brother & I had a naughty laugh and I teased him being the macho (also asking him to join 6th standard Mafia group). He got me a cold drink from canteen and off we went to our respective classes (his being 10th standard). I will never come to know how much joy the Principal had knowing our story, but surely we two (bhai & I) for the first time got connected in a different manner. He being more a sober dude, never showed his love for me in public, yet he managed to create PDA - Public Display of Affection.
College brought us out of the shell of home environment and a sense of independence. Initially it was hard for me to adjust with my home town being in Roorkee and college in Bangalore (nearly 2k+ km separating us). Status of calls used to be every night, with my mom worried every day. Ragging, Food, Hostel are sometimes the most scary words for a mother whose life can be defined by her kids growth. To add to this all, my first year of college where I was supposed to top to join a better branch coincided with the demise of my maternal grand father. It was a hard choice on my parents part to make such a decision, not to call me back from exams. Being a mother's pampered kid, this difficult time brought me close to my father. I had grown into a studious engg. student who will find solution of every problem and if I fail, will go back to his father for solutions. I realize that how much a father wants to be part of his child's education. Be it business, be it his travels which kept him away during our childhood, we both made sure college was one place where he act as my senior. Second semester electrical science paper gave me the nightmares - my brain getting replaced by electrical motor without the necessary oil & some parts missing. My father told me in simple words, you are son of an electrical engg. so quite worrying and start thinking. You will see each component as I saw almost 30 years back. Did we magically created neurons of knowledge? I scored 97 out of 100.
"Marriages are made in heaven" - I am sure the person who said that had a wife like my brother has. In our family of 4, we organized the first arranged marriage of my elder brother. I realized that how much it is hard for girls to wake up one morning and move to a different home. Where everyone is celebrating because it is marriage-time, but for her even the lights in the bedroom is on a different side. Yes she has been preparing from the time engagement happened but still. So soon she manages to know every one in her husband's family like she has been there forever. And in our case, she is only second to my brother to know me so closely. Yes, she was a girl few days back and now a mother of little angel (pari), but she knows how to be my friend and how to comfort me in a space of an year. She is always a call away to listen no matter what I have to say and bring peacefulness with her voice. Yes, I am sure it is love created instantly like maggi.
I was born heavy, really really heavy. More than 5kgs as a very health and tall baby. For my mother it wasn't easy (hell no) & also it wasn't easy for people who wished to pick me. With the Godly mass, I was piled in tones of clothes. But one family member, Mani didi, was never afraid to pick me or play with me. She is my maternal aunt's daughter. An age gap of 9, I have always been her baby bro & she my motherly sister. With different lifestyle and different city life, summer holidays were the only time where all 6 brothers & sisters come together on my mother-side. I used to find pulling her pony tail amazing and rightfully justify the act after been pinched on my chubby cheeks as infant number of times. She sleeps with her eyes open, I sleep cuddled up and holding her hand; She will watch over me when I am creating trouble, I put the blame on her when I get into trouble. And as God fast forward the dial to present, she has two kids of her own and I settled in Bangalore as a s/w pro, we two get sometime to interact with each other on messengers or phone. Each time to realize that distance looks so immaterial, so insignificant because we know each other so well. Distance may creep into our lives changing the way we knew our own, but a call, few silly words and loads of laughter will wipe the slate clean. Yes, everyday together when we laugh on either my acts of stupidity or prettiness of my nephews, we build our bonds stronger with nothing but love...
While writing away images of thoughts into series of words, I realize how incomplete this post will be...I can never share few creations of love that once existed in-around my life and as I am yet to discover my own better half, the ideal way to end it is by saying, Lets continue to create love.
