Please forgive me...

"Will you marry me.", the words were nothing like I practised in front of the mirror, yet they sounded so wonderful.

"....Oh!Ah...!Yes...yes...yes!!... I will, I will.", she jumped out of her chair and hugged me tightly.

Everyone around us were looking and laughing. Embarrassed yet happy I hugged my darling back. It was unexpected especially for me, who comes from a conservative family. I never thought the girl I met first in 10th standard, then forgotten and again met in college, again to forget & bump-in as my manager, will accept my proposal of marriage, said so abruptly........

***

St.Joseph Senior Secondary School, Shimla (1998-99)

"Anil, you will never pass the 10th standard maths exam if you don't work hard enough. I will write to your parents that you have not taken Maths as fish takes to water. Probably it is better you to take up arts." informed my chocolate-teacher Mrs.Bansal.

She continued, "Also, I have a prodigy in class 12th - Sheetal. She might be willing to save you. As you both are hostelers, it will be possible to supervise some extra class after school for you."

a) I don't remember why exactly Mrs.Bansal was called chocolate-teacher. May-be because she was the sweetest of all the teachers or may-be because of the soft-corner she had for hostelers. God bless her soul; she past last summer and as expected the gathering was from all ages she taught in her 25yrs long career.

b) Sheetal & I met first in school auditorium, which was mainly used during our time as extra-class rooms. Teachers will pick weak students from their sections and ask seniors to help them out; in-return seniors will get extra canteen vouchers or credits in certain subject they are weak in.

I still remember, Sheetal in her white uniform (for summers- for name-sake as shimla is always cold; other dress being gray during winters) and white ribbon complimenting her bouncy pony-tail. She helped me out with all the x & y's I failed to understand in linear algebra and all the different sizes and shapes of trigonometry. Still remember how she used to make it all fun by giving aliases to all the shapes after our different-shaped teachers, like e.g. Mr.Pinto for sphere, considering his pot-belly or Mrs.D'souza for cylinder for her perfect wrapped saree (ofcourse Mrs.Bansal for square as most chocolates are packed in that sizes).

I passed Maths in my 10th standard (can't share the mark sheet; it was stolen by aliens)

***

IIT Roorkee, formely Roorkee University (2001-03)

First year ranging period is the most horrible yet most enjoying time, which launches us in the world as IT Professionals, Doctors, Architects...etc. For me it turned out to be the most challenging time of all. Though my branch was considered to be one of the best aka computers, my liking to it again reminded me of my 10th standard Maths. Back then it was the horrible shapes & x/y equations and here it was the numerous languages along with history and future of tiny little piece of equipment which has run the whole world for the past 30yrs and plans to do so for at least the next 50 (or so what our induction teacher said).

It was my first terms (some stupid way of grading our entry into the elite university, where I had promised myself not to fail). Driven by the divine power of foolishness, I entered the Library with full JOSH. It turned out to be that we need seniors permission to refer library (even my seniors had the divine power of foolishness) and hence I was caught by my seniors, Ashok Kr. Jha (who used to say his ancestors used to be from Jungle - I tend to agree seniors on such things). Oh, sorry I missed, we are supposed to wear all formals, put litres of oil in hair and have the collar button close which identifies us as 1st yrs. It wasn't my charming dumb looks which gave me away as first year. So the punishment was presenting flyers to every single person coming to the library. I still have the flyer in my scrap-book as the first person to enter the library as I was getting the scolding was my saviour, my Sheetal.

"Anil, you are late. I asked you to come earlier. And what are you doing with these flyers?", said my saviour who sensed the knee-deep crap I was in.

"Ah! aaaaah! ummm...Shee...Madam! Sorry." yeah wasn't able to balance the flow of emotions that came gushing into my head (probably eyes, nose and ears too). It was mix of excitement, finding a familiar face so soon (1st yrs and 3rd yrs, especially guys and girls may not meet for a month; it is possible), then can't pretend I know her as she is saving my ass, can't say her name as she happens to be super-senior and a pretty one - so seniors will bury me 6feet deep if I even try to speak the holy name (aka Sheetal).

"Ma'am, you know him? Did you ask him to come to the library?" asked our Jha-junglee (nickname by our batch mates)

"Is it a problem to use the first year in helping out maintain our university library? Isn't that you guys do in all the hostels?" was a very crisp answer by my beautiful (she felt like Jesus Christ coming to rescue).

"Sorry ma'am. It was a misunderstanding." as our jungle walked back leaving with a stare which means, I have a class of explanation tonight.

"So, Mr.Maths, still searching for knowledge? Which branch? So uncle paid bribe for you to join here?" my smiling assassin just continued her fire.

"Yeah, searching for knowledge and much more. Dad accidentally passed some wisdom and I managed compu here (computer sc.)" I said without much ado. "So where did you vanish after our teaching sessions. I never got to thank you how you helped me score some grace & save my butt from my father's belt." I continued.

"Yeah, my father got transferred in the middle of 12th standard and he wanted me to finish it under his supervision. I said yes and so I shifted. It was all in a hurry." she explained, though at that very moment I saw was how beautiful she has become. From a girl in school skirt with pony tail and ribbons, she transformed into amazingly beautiful lady with waist length hair, square specs hiding the eye-shadow, chubby-bubbly figure in a sweat-shirt top with sky blue jean, explicitly enhancing her curves.

"So you got smart and managed to get here. Good, at least you will not be a Maths teacher in some school." she said, still picking on my ability of how I appreciated Tennis over certain ghostly linear equations.

"Yeah I guess, I did." trying to end the past in search of another tomorrow.

Evening strolls after classes, to canteen eating changes to time-out breaks during hectic exams schedule. She being my senior, helped me out in number of times. The subjects were mostly theories and she had a habit of converting every boring subject into fairy-tales or kinder garden-stories. I have never seen someone writing an algorithm out of a story where every variable is a character and ever crisp logic an event in these characters life. I on the other hand was supposed to look after her project report completion (giving ride on my bike and getting then printed) and reviewing some of the code as I started to like computer programming.

In all these time spent together not once did she was romantic or showed interest in my personal life. Closest she came to know about my personal likings was the ability to win tennis games. She cheered my every point and hooted the opponent (who happened to be her batch mate & lab partner).

A very reserved person by nature when it comes to personal life, Sheetal shared very less about her family and even during summer breaks she would stay back in college for extra course or self-study. Something which over a period of time I learnt not because she wanted it to share with me, but it made her so weak sometimes that few tears and even fewer words made me know her world.

The last two years of college turned out to be boring. She joined MNC being campus placed and moved to Bangalore, while I was left to work hard on my assignments and projects and what not. E-mailing & phone calls were infrequent as my profs were killing me and so were her managers. Once a month she will write letter where the tear-droplets will let me know that the family tragedies hasn't changed a bit. Last six months, we lost touch...

I passed and got placed into MNC and was posted to Bangalore. Tried to find her from all possible ways, but as she traveled to client side and her habit of not being social made it even more hard.

***

SAP Labs Bangalore (2007)

"Welcome to our company Mr.Anil. You will have you induction for the whole week and henceforth you will join your project as lead specialist." were the words of Mr.Vikram Kumar, senior-HR recruiting manager.

Actually all inductions are a way to put employee at comfort, that he will have the complete infrastructure available 24/7, later only to realize how inefficient sometime the system is, where the a.c. wont work or they will close the lights on you even though you are working for 10hrs and counting. As for work, it is something one builds with his own capabilities (this doesn't come with any induction and sometimes doesn't come with experience - hoping we are born with it).

"Mr. Anil...Anil...Ah! Here you are, D5, go meet Mr.Yagnesh. This will be the big building at the back of the campus. He is VP for your area. Also known as YY. He will take you forward introducing you to your manager", informed the desk-clerk.

"May I come in", I asked as I stepped in YY's room. The discussion was short, defining our aims and talking about work culture and ethics (okay, I am being nice, generally these things in any company is boring. If I had no ethic, they wouldn't have picked me).

"Anil, you will be working with Ms.Sheetal. She is Manager of your area, recently promoted and a prodigy. You will learn and enjoy working with her." the words sounded so similar and only one person with that name can be so impressive and to add still a Miss.

"Hi, Sheetal. I prayed for cool team but I guess my sins have catch up with me. Now I should expect far more sleepless nights than what I lived during colleges. My prodigy-returns to haunt me yet again." I shocked her when I jumped right in front of Sheetal.

"Anil? What a pleasant surprise! Where have you been? How long it has been? 1yr? more!" my smiling assassin said her eyes glowing and as we got transformed to our school auditorium.

***

Next day (2007 11th May)

"Want to join me for lunch. We can catch up all past year and refresh our old memories. You can tease me about the x&y's and I still have some of your bad-hair-day pictures from school." I invited her, praying she says yes to me and not for the last time in the day.

"Sure why not. But please excuse me if I am not excited on your tennis games." still the teasing kinds.

"Food is good. I guess you come here regularly. They sound like they know you well." I enquired based on the hospitality given by the host to Sheetal.

"We come for team lunch at least once every forth night. So yes, they kind of know us well. They coffee is good here. Lets order latte, what you say?" she asked as we finished with our luncheons.

"Will you marry me.", the words were nothing like I practised in front of the mirror, yet they sounded so wonderful.

"....Oh!Ah...!Yes...yes...yes!!... I will, I will.", she jumped out of her chair and hugged me tightly.

Everyone around us were looking and laughing. Embarrassed yet happy I hugged my darling back. It was unexpected especially for me, who comes from a conservative family. I never thought the girl I met first in 10th standard, then forgotten and again met in college, again to forget & bump-in as my manager, will accept my proposal of marriage, said so abruptly.

"Sheetal, please forgive me. I never thanked you enough for all the helped you gave me throughout my career. Please forgive me for never understanding how difficult it was for you to be part of your family. Please forgive me for being so abrupt asking you all this when you expect it the least. Please forgive me to delay it for so long...Please forgive me." there weren't enough words to explain, how much she meant to me. Chocolate-teacher said it right, she can only be the one save me.

To all my plea for forgiveness Sheetal said, "Anil, had you not asked and forced me to ask you the same question, may be it would have taken me years to forgive you. But you helped me too by just being there. Finding me when I am lost, making me smile when I want a searching for a shoulder to cry. I couldn't have said no to you. It was fate who reminded us how important we are for one another. I don't want to lose you anymore now."

***

I hugged her back and as we sat back sipping our coffee our winks, our smiles, our joys had no boundaries.