Personal vs Professional (my worst blog ever)

It is 8.28pm on a friday night and I am in search of an ABAP UI element which can display a STRING irrespective of how large it is. Is it funny, we spend all these years learning programming jargons, constructs, design-patterns etc and yet our life is brought down to a standstill by just a STRING object. No developer will ever doubt that STRINGs are tricky, irrespective we code in C/C++/Java or ABAP.

But really what is on the back of my mind is how I really needs to simulate the passion and excitement in my soul so it doesn't spill over so much that it becomes pain in others **** (british version).

From the time my first manager (Lakshmi) asked me to work on CMS (casino management system) I have forgotten what time is @ work. I believe at the end of day, I should not have a doubt on my mind, I believe that a logical closure to a day will give me far more peaceful dinner and a night sleep. And number of times a problem comes right @ 5pm when I see lot of your colleagues heading home. Or will get an interesting problem which really tickles my mind.

Coming to the actual point, I wonder why this passion & excitement sometimes makes me get impatient. I take it too personal as if this work is my only child and I need to groom it like my parents did in my case. Right now I don't want to prove anyone right or wrong; just want to vent out a little impatience out of me.

There is nothing to hide regarding this fact that I am highly PISSED @ our Quality manager. And it has to be like-wise. He also will now hold a little personal grudge against me. As this is my blog (& also not a company blog) let me fire some of the worst remark I can make on any one personally because right now I need my peace back. The passion to build an extremely useful UI for our stakeholders has been oozing for past 3 weeks; right @ the fag end I don't want to screw it:

(Sorry all who feel I use this kind of language on regular basis; no this is my first ever gone-out-of-hand case and with time I promise myself to improve)

a) Why the F*** you are throwing a task on me when it is irrelevant to the task you have.

b) Why the F*** you ask for something when you yourself know d*** about the whole scenario. Next time you come to a meeting, please go through your own documents.

c) Why the F*** you keep on saying our Q-team and your team? Last time I checked A-hole you were under the same team as I am. If that is your bl**** feeling, go p*ss yourself.

d) Why the F*** did you included the VP in these issues? You first dump some shit on me and then you question my manager's ability to resolve it. You should be blessed with such patient architects and manager.

e) And as I run out of time (and somehow the guilt of using bad language creeps on me) just because you are in a position to ask certain information, doesn't mean you cant find it on your own. You got everything (apart from this task) cooked in plate but forgive me, I don't do spoon-feed to bald-old-man. F*** off.

My parents will be mad @ me and so lot others who know me. I will clean my sins in this life only. My God be with me.

End-Quote: "Why God made 24hrs in a day, I believe 30hrs would have been better."