AT TWO

I was two years old when I first stepped on an airplane. For a two year old it’s a very huge object and loads of people rushing in. Initially it was a tough task for my mom to make me understand that it’s not a monster ready to gobble us all. After creating much of ado, I managed to board the plane, but only in my dad’s arms. Oh! And one more thing, I used to think my dad was HE-MAN. So the monster won’t be able to do anything to me if I am in his lap. My mom actually had to bribe me with Cadbury chocolates. Human nature!! We give in to taking bribes at so early an age.

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<> The year was 1984; none of the current private airlines were operating. The only airline present was IA and air travel was a privilege. Thankfully I got a chance early in my life to travel from Delhi to Bombay (Now Mumbai). To a two year old kid these things hardly matter. To him, all that matters is that he is going to a new place with his mom, dad and his elder brother- on an airplane!

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<> As soon as we boarded the plane, its enormous size freaked me out. I clung to my Dad very tightly. My brother (aged 6) was teasing me and it perplexed me more. Being in such a frantic state, how annoying it is when an air-hostess comes and does a “Googly Woogly mush” – for all who don’t know what it is – it’s what every one likes to do to a baby with chubby cheeks (or better still, watch the Ponds Cold Cream ad ) – I got irritated, but somehow managed not to cry. Instead, I started to become curious. My world had so far been limited to a 3 bedroom house and the lane we used to live in. Today for the first time my mind was exploring new places. Ludicrously I pointed at a fat man sitting right ahead and tell my dad, “Dad that man is even fatter than granny.” My dad had to apologize profusely to this fat man for my behavior, as he did on several other occasions, to many different people, for many different blabberings of my kiddish mouth.

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<> Mom some how managed to keep a check on me till the plane was about to take off. As soon as the plane started moving towards the runway, the devil in me started playing tricks. I suddenly unfastened the belt – oh I was smart enough to learn how to open it - and started jumping on the seat. Annoying loads of people with my voice, I shouted, “We are going in a plane, we are going in a plane.” The look on my mom’s face said it all! My parents always followed that logic of not scolding us in front of others; I used to get it once we reached home. This saved me from a certain bash from my mom – dad never used to scold me or beat me - HE-MAN doesn’t beat the good guys – Right...?

The devil within me was still not at peace, fighting the seat belt which I was certainly not allowed to open anymore and the stare which mom gave me after the dance I did just before take-off didn’t quench the devil’s thirst for a little more mischief. Now I, already in limelight, was getting special treatment from all airhostesses. When the candy was served, I was told I could pick as many as I wanted!! Ahh... the fruits of childish paradise!! The prospect of getting loads of candy filled me with a malicious glee that made the devil within very happy. Fate, however, didn’t favor poor me! With such small palms, it was very hard to collect loads of candy. Here, too, the benign treatment continued as the Airhostess helped me to load enough candy to fill my ample pockets (My outfit had a “bugs bunny” pocket on it – the cute ones we all had when we were infants – which was now filled with loads of candy).

<>By the end of the flight I had done all possible mischief like repeatedly asking for candy, standing on the seat, dropping food on my clothes and talking animatedly and continuously. Finally, worn out by all the hard work, I fell asleep like an innocent angel in my mother’s lap, while cruising through serene clouds in my dreams oblivious of the mischief I had just wreaked.

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Author’s Note

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Author would like to share that he was brainwashed and was not able to recall any such incident before the age of five or six. He came to know all this when he was told again and again on those innumerable embarrassing occasions (something like ‘thanksgiving’) when the whole family used to sit and discuss his childhood mischief.