Critics, 12hrs+, this & that.

My last post has brought me lot of negatives reviews, especially when I am known more as a love-bug based writer. Even on the personal front, I have broken the pledge of keeping this blog purely personal and not let my professional life in it. One of the oral-comment said it doesn't reflect who I am and hence can be misinterpreted as someone I am not. I can't contradict this comment. Yes it is possible people can take me as strong-headed, stubborn guy which I am not. When it comes to my work, sometimes I may be a little stubborn. Clear cut example can be when our Java-based team refuse to pick up ABAP based tasks. Out of interest or out of curiosity, just pick up and understand what is happening... It is like every other task we have in life. Like learning bicycle or becoming a parent. Small or Big we do it when time comes. Just because Life forces them we shouldn't take it up.

Anyways, I personally hate the last blog as I used the wrong constructs and I hope the future brings much of strict regime. It is anyways hard these days to find inspiration for any more love-bug based stories. Last month have been around 12hrs on average in-office. Haven't read anything new, haven't talked to any friend. Sometimes these love-bug-stories comes out of the most funniest of incident. Like Nisha, I saw a girl and boy fighting because the girl intentially bumped into him. I wove the story around it.

But frankly I don't complain. Some find peace in sports, some find it in being idle, I found peace in learning something really cool. And to top it with a cherry, I broke a personal barrier. A blockage which made me believe "I-cant-build-UI".

Rakhi is round the corner (5th Aug) and I was happy to send didi gift on time. Being the spoiled-young-baby-bro, she never agrees on taking any gift. This time around I am happy to present her with something cool, something which I hope she loves as much as I have over the last 7-8 yrs. (And yes, I wish too didi come as a guest blogger, stating her experience).

To end:

As past played a rhythm,

My heart skipped a beat,

As I turned pages of my life,

My eyes fell on an unselfish deed.

Now time beckons for a start,

here I am, this is what I should do,

there is no plan; this is not an art,

Let the music play, do whatever says dein heart.

Personal vs Professional (my worst blog ever)

It is 8.28pm on a friday night and I am in search of an ABAP UI element which can display a STRING irrespective of how large it is. Is it funny, we spend all these years learning programming jargons, constructs, design-patterns etc and yet our life is brought down to a standstill by just a STRING object. No developer will ever doubt that STRINGs are tricky, irrespective we code in C/C++/Java or ABAP.

But really what is on the back of my mind is how I really needs to simulate the passion and excitement in my soul so it doesn't spill over so much that it becomes pain in others **** (british version).

From the time my first manager (Lakshmi) asked me to work on CMS (casino management system) I have forgotten what time is @ work. I believe at the end of day, I should not have a doubt on my mind, I believe that a logical closure to a day will give me far more peaceful dinner and a night sleep. And number of times a problem comes right @ 5pm when I see lot of your colleagues heading home. Or will get an interesting problem which really tickles my mind.

Coming to the actual point, I wonder why this passion & excitement sometimes makes me get impatient. I take it too personal as if this work is my only child and I need to groom it like my parents did in my case. Right now I don't want to prove anyone right or wrong; just want to vent out a little impatience out of me.

There is nothing to hide regarding this fact that I am highly PISSED @ our Quality manager. And it has to be like-wise. He also will now hold a little personal grudge against me. As this is my blog (& also not a company blog) let me fire some of the worst remark I can make on any one personally because right now I need my peace back. The passion to build an extremely useful UI for our stakeholders has been oozing for past 3 weeks; right @ the fag end I don't want to screw it:

(Sorry all who feel I use this kind of language on regular basis; no this is my first ever gone-out-of-hand case and with time I promise myself to improve)

a) Why the F*** you are throwing a task on me when it is irrelevant to the task you have.

b) Why the F*** you ask for something when you yourself know d*** about the whole scenario. Next time you come to a meeting, please go through your own documents.

c) Why the F*** you keep on saying our Q-team and your team? Last time I checked A-hole you were under the same team as I am. If that is your bl**** feeling, go p*ss yourself.

d) Why the F*** did you included the VP in these issues? You first dump some shit on me and then you question my manager's ability to resolve it. You should be blessed with such patient architects and manager.

e) And as I run out of time (and somehow the guilt of using bad language creeps on me) just because you are in a position to ask certain information, doesn't mean you cant find it on your own. You got everything (apart from this task) cooked in plate but forgive me, I don't do spoon-feed to bald-old-man. F*** off.

My parents will be mad @ me and so lot others who know me. I will clean my sins in this life only. My God be with me.

End-Quote: "Why God made 24hrs in a day, I believe 30hrs would have been better."

Chain of emotions-in motion...

Some promises are made to be broken...and few words means like carving on the stone. It has been more than 3 yrs since I started blogging, but no one asked me to continue a TAG :)

So without any more ado "The Incurible Romantic" digs deep to express (top 10) what really tinkle his emotions and bring him down on his knees...

#1 I will start of with my work. It is not something which drains me, but sometimes when I work with a unique pace or passion, which is a miss around (aka quality-folks); the sheer frustration drags me down. I have been identified already as a hot-pod, yet I am learning not all fingers of the same size.

#2 Time I spent not doing anything productive. There is so much waste I spend my energy into that each part of my mental strength is wiped clean. Most of the time I recover & bounce back with a aspirin, something like Max Payne??

#3 My stories -- Each time I write something, a new story, when I write the last few words, I know I have touched something deep; a part of my own self is broken into black&white words.

#4 Kids - Always been great with kids. May be because I am still one. But when I picked my niece in my lap for the first time, a sudden rush of emotions and warmth dawned me. Anushka has been one life altering experience for me.

#5 Late night Drive : Not all will consider this as a really emotional attachment. For me the switch from a biker to a man-behind-the-wheels helped me realize how impatient I can be. I drove for 700+ km in 3 days...The best drive ever!!!

#6 XBOX-PS2-PSP :-) Ofcourse it is mentally draining... I play mostly for 10-12hrs non-stop. What else? Yes! I am still a kid.

#7 Movies, TV Serials... Coach Carter, We are marshalls, ER to name a few.

#8 The Family affair.. Living far far away from my hometown, the trip back is always for rest and enjoy the city I grew in. My parents though have different plans to do this and that... Sometimes it works , sometimes it doesn't.

#9 Sports -> Tennis and Cricket. I remember as young kid i used to get fever watching intense cricket match. With India victorious campaign of T20 WC, every match got my pulse raising. With Tennis, the emotions are high when I am in the middle of the court. Actually fighting my own limitations (and yeah for some of my office colleagues - NADAL RULES ;)

#10 _____________________________________________________________

I leave this #10 empty as I feel not all can be shared.

To END
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but our deepest fear is we are capable beyond imagination..."