The Bumpy Ride...

College life gives a number of unforgettable moments to all. The food in canteen, boring lectures, crushes, heartbreaks and finding love again... College made us realize how colorful life can be and before we all head into the cycle of life aka jobs, it gives us lot of our FIRSTS. This Ride is one of those collection of "firsts". And so it begins...

9:01 am

Swathi: Hello Raj, you sound like still sleeping? Please get up and get ready. We are all supposed to meet in front foyer in 1 hr. I am not your mom and certainly will not give you another wake up call.

Raj: Oh! You sound mad at me. This is only the 4th time you called. And you require at least 3 hrs to get ready which includes trying at least 10 dresses. We are just going on a 1 day hiking trip. All are college buddies; does it even matter what are you wear? And thanks Mom for waking me up. You are gem. Promise I will be on time. See you @ 10.

9:50am

Anindho: Deepti, I am totally against today's plan. Why do we need to go with so many people and waste quality time? Why can't we just hang out in college or some mall? Let us just bunk the trip. Anyway it looks like everyone is late. It is almost ten. We can go to compu lab and work for sometime till they leave. How is it?

Deepti: No! I told you that we are part of this gang. And Raj has worked so hard to arrange a car, made sure all parents agree and everyone is coming. The food is on him and so is the spot. All he ask is you to come and this is what you give him in return. Shame on you. I am not moving from the foyer. And the outing to waterfall is not important; it is the journey and chit-chat which will be so much fun.

Anindho: Ah Crap! I know why Raj is putting all the damn efforts in this. After all Swathi is coming. Look here comes Mahitha; atleast now my plan is officially trashed.

Mahitha: Hi Deepti, Hi Anindho. you guys are already here? Look, I got the food basket. I know Raj said no food required, but you know my mom, she needs to be sure that all of us are well fed. Typical mom.

Deepti: Yeah. We had to pick something from labs, so we came early. Good. At least now I don't have to worry if Raj forgets food.

10:10am

Raj: Hello everyone! Sorry I am late; oh but it is only 10mins late. The car is out in the parking lot along with food which before any of you girls say is purely veg, neatly packed in foil and in plastic boxes with labels. Oops, I mean Tupperware with labels!

And yeah, we pick Shivendu on our way. He carries stuff like cricket bat, football, his swimming trunk and hence can't walk till foyer.

Deepti, Mahitha, Swathi: We are waiting for so long and you have no shame to be on time. After all it is your plan. You are the host.

Raj: Chill ladies! I am at your service now! So if your wrath has ended, shall we move. And hey Anindho, you are first up on the wheels. I couldn't manage driver so all three of us have to switch & drive.

Deepti: What? No driver? Isn't it wrong? We should have at least a driver? You guys will get tired. It is almost 3 hrs drive.

Anindho: It is because I asked him to get a couple of beers. No driver means no alcohol. That is the only way he can restrict me drinking.

Raj: Okay no more conversation, let us head now to water, dirt and lot of food.

10:30am

Mahitha: SHIVENDU, COME OUT. WE ARE GETTING LATE. IF YOU DON'T COME OUT SOON, ALL GIRLS WILL COME IN.

Shivendu: Yeah coming, coming. No need to shout. And yeah no need to threat me with you stepping in my room. Just watch your head as my undies are drying right out of the entrance.

***

All friends were finally together. Took them sometime but finally the journey began. Raj, the funny guy planned and executed the plan. Anindho & Deepti or the love birds, were planning their own timeout, but they finally joined. The so called sisters - Mahitha & Swathi made the gang complete.

Oh! I forgot Shivendu. Umm! It doesn't matter. He hardly ever had his head out of Rock music. Wouldn't care much.

***

11:00am

Mahitha, Deepti, Swathi: "..Those were the best of my life... Standing of mama's proch, you told me to wait for ever...Those were the best of my life..."

Raj: Ladies, ladies...Hault. Stop... Thank you all for entertaining us with Mr. Adams' song. But as we see this activity is killing the purpose of our drive. Anindho is busy driving and watching Deepti in the mirror; all you girls have decided to test vocal chords without our involvement; shivendu has got lost in his air-guitar and rock music on his iPod, leaving me to sit and admire you all. On any other day in college it could have been charming so please let us do some in-motion activity involving all.

Anindho: What you have in mind buddy?

Mahitha: And yeah it should not be related to college studies. I know Raj, somehow you and Shivendu will get into either details of Microprocessor program or Java program.

Raj: Dont worry, it won't be studies. I have something like Truth & Dare, but as we are restricted to car, lets keep it Truth Only. The last time I played, it turned out to be real fun. But only if all say the right thing.

Shivendu: Oh! I am not sure this is a better option than my music. Can we stick to what ever we were doing and just reach the waterfall? Raj, please continue observing us. You might find a pattern in our behaviour.

Swathi: Hey Shivendu! Be a sport. I think Truth only is a great idea. And it looks like everyone is interested. So better take that plug out your ear. So we can play.

Deepti: To end the doubt of whom to start, any of you can ask me the first question and then I get to pick whom to ask the second. Deal?

ALL: Yes.

***

11:12am

Raj: Clearly asking something Deepti is not so wonderful as even if she says something not fully truthful, Mr.Anindho will support her. I feel in this case, we can make Anindho as something to her, which he has in his mind and want to know from Deepti? How about this.

Shivendu: Great idea man! Yes, Anindho ask her something, you always wanted to know from the time you guys been together. Every guy wants to know trade secret of women's heart. Though they seldom get to know it & when they do, they do feel sad.

Anindho: Okay. Now that you guys have put me in the hot seat. Deepti, how did you feel when I kissed you for the first time?

Raj, Swathi, Mahitha, Shivendu: WoooooW!

Shivendu: Man, someone has serious issues, knowing how good he is for his women. Dude you know you will get crucify later.

Anindho: Yeah, I know. But she chose to be here by offering this option. I am just adding salt to an already spiced up curry.

Deepti: I know I shouldn't have allowed this. But I am a sport and I will give an honest answer. As per shivendu, he will be sad in knowing the results. It wasn't the best place to kiss - the movie theater - watching a thriller. It was cold and dark inside but all I felt there was wet lips. Yup, just wetness & nothing else. It was the strangest of feeling for me. I guess I was too cold in the theater.

Anindho: Oh My God! Hmm... I can't say whether our choice was right or wrong, but surely can make upto you.

Raj: Oye! You are really asking for trouble man! I think you should stop here and now we all should ask you some question.

Deepti: Yup! Mr.Ray, you will really get some from me. Wait & watch.

Mahitha: Before anyone jump to ask Anindho, I have a question for him. Hope everyone is fine with me asking.

Raj, Swathi, Deepti: Yeah yeah. Go ahead.

Mahitha: So we all know you and Deepti being going around for quite sometime. Whom do you think is the architect of your love story? Upto you now to tell us all truthfully.

Anindho: Oh! This even Deepti knows. I will give some credit to Raj here. He helped a lot & I used to update him on it.

Deepti: Yeah, I know it too Raj. Thanks for being so kind.

Raj: Wow! So senti-mental dialogues from you two. I am touched. But the most funny part here is, Mr. Ray actually asked me how I find Deepti? And how I like her. I was totally confused when he asked me. I said she is nice and a really good friend. I share great chemistry with her. Turns out, he wanted to know whether I like her and is looking forward to approach her. My initial thought was to tease him. But he looked like a kid and I clarified it. Best of luck you too.

Mahitha: Ah! Such a nice thing to do Raj. I always thought, you liked Deepti and backout for Anindho.

Shivendu: Now wait a min, Raj you never told me about this. I thought you always liked Deepti. I am supposed to be your closed friend and I don't even get to know your crushes. I am hurt dude. On this note, I want to feel better. The only way I think it is possible right now, if I get to ask Mahitha the next question.

Mahitha: NO! YOU ARE NOT ASKING ME ANYTHING.

Swathi: Huh! What happened to you Mahitha? Why is there a problem in Shivendu asking you any question? I smell a rat here? Comeon Shivendu spill the beans now!

Shivendu: I will be plain simple straight. Okay Mahitha.

Mahitha: Shivendu stop. Please no. This is not right!

Shivendu: Hee Hee. So here is it guys. I asked Mahitha for her notes and just after giving the note book, she got shocked and started asking me back. I was like, why, did u forget anything in the notebook. And then she pounced on me and started snatching the note book. Finally she got hold of it and took a loose paper out of the book. Now, I have my doubts but I guess it was a very important letter.

Deepti: Wooooow! So who is the guy? You never took our update or advice. Is this guy not in our dept. Tell tell to all of us.

Mahitha: Shivendu, I should kill you for that. Okay. Yes, Rahul wrote me that letter but it was just solution of a problem I gave to him.

Raj: Rahul? Rahul? You like that nerd. OMG!

Shivendu: Nooooooo... That was not a solution, it was luuuvvvv... Love letter. Mahitha is in love. And tell us Mahitha, if you say that it was not love then why you didn't ask any in the group about the problem? Deepti, Anindho, Raj, all have brains.

Mahitha: I am supposed to answer ONLY one question. And I have done that. Period.

Shivendu: Fine! If you dont want to answer, we will take that as yes.

Anindho: Hey Raj, take over the driving buddy. I want to stretch my legs. Is it okay?

Raj: Okay. We can take a break from game and stop over to have lunch. We can finally show mercy to the food and relieve then from the bonds of Tupperware and foil.

***

From the game of relieving dark secrets, we all shifted our attention to food. And when it comes to food, the discussion has to be how worst is the hostel food? Which girl can cook? Do Deepti plans to do all the cooking eventually for Anindho? The disgusting jokes guys can crack while girls eat are too good. Food for thought - Any yellow dal resembles...? Yup, guys are as disgusting as their jokes! :)

***

12:30pm

Deepti: Hurry up guys. Half the day is over and we haven't even reach our destination. Raj, please drag everyone in and let us drive a little faster speed.

Raj: When Raj is here, have no fear. Lets rumble.

Mahitha: Should we also resume the game? Who all are left to answer? Shivendu & Swathi.

Deepti: No no, Raj is also left to answer.

Raj: Before any one asks me, let me ask shivendu if no one has any for him?

Shivendu: Please. I mind you asking me question. We spend so much time in college, hostel, my room that you even know the color of my chaddi. You will not ask a question but unravel some of my trade secrets.

Anindho: Comeon, shivendu. We all promise that if Raj asks any question remotely related to what color of briefs you are wearing or not wearing, we will disqualify it.

Raj: I heard some rumors from my flatmates that there has been increased activity on you mobile bill? There has been lot of long distance calls to your school friends! Is it true? If yes, spill the beans. You can also take Mahitha's way out answering one question, but I am sure no one here will be satisfied.

Shivendu: FYI, My flatmate Abhinav is a dead-man. I will organize his cremation ceremony and you all are invited. Yes, it is true that I am pursuing my school time crush & now sweetheart Neha. To add oohs & aahs, the latest update is, I have opened this at home. They like her already.

Deepti: One ooh and one aah for you :) This is even bigger than Mahitha's crush on Rahul.

Anindho: Man! You are on a faster track buddy. We both are finding it hard to tell our parents. Especially when Deepti parents want a nice American return South Indian lad for her and my parents want a homely-bengali bahu.

Deepti: Everyone has been asked to say something they wouldn't have otherwise but Swathi & the architect of this wonderful trip. Now I want to ask Raj, the same question his buddy asked me, with a little questions hanging here & there. Raj, tell about your first kiss, crush and location.

Shivendu: What? You almost choked me on water girl. Raj & these details. Never! He is such a casanova, I doubt he will remember that moment.

Anindho: Na, na. He is bounded by the rules of the land; in this case rules of the car. Speak up Raj. You should not hide this from your friends.

Raj: I doubt anyone of you will believe the truth and it is very easy for me to make up to tell you what you all want to hear. So should be truth or a well-dressed up lie.

Swathi: No Raj. We all will believe what you will say. Please let it be the truth.

Raj: To start, I will have to deny the alligation of being a casanova. Now most of you know that I am from a small town and studied in boy's school. Till date, I have no girlfriend. Believe me, first time I talked to a girl who was not related or a family friend was in 9th standard. Before that, I used to like girls somewhat similar to how Calvin likes Susie - sarcasm associated if someone doesn't understand. Coming to college, first year was crutial for studies so I hardly every interacted with any of the feminine gender and we been friends ever since. So having kiss, crush or location is still in my future.

Mahitha: Whoaaa! Hmmm... Raj, the way you have been with anyone for the past year, we never knew. So basically you are covering lost ground. For first part of your life aka school, you were denied the company or made to believe we are not the kinds to interact and now second phase of life aka college, all you do is flirt.

Raj: Mahitha, I am hurt. You girls would have booted me with sandles if I would have ever flirt with either of you. And trust me on this, flirting is not even in my dictionary. Anyways, this is the sad story of your lovely, charming & handsome friend. You can either show pity on me or next time any of your school visit our college, do introduce me.

Shivendu: Please don't forget me.

Anindho: Me too.

Deepti: What? #$*@&#

Swathi, Raj, Mahitha, Shivendu: ha ha ha!

***

We ask our friends lot of questions whose answer we already know. This was another of those astonishing FIRST which left friends shocked. After all, Raj is much more than just a charming chocolate boy.

***

1:18pm

Raj: Hey we have finally reached the place. Lets get out and rock the place.

Mahitha: But no one asked the one question to Swathi? We all got so engaged in Deepti-Anindho's fight, we didn't ask her.

Anindho: Please get it quick. I need to run for Almighty's call.

Raj: Lets me make it short - Swathi, excluding Shivendu, do you have crush on anyone in this travel group. Please say it in Yes or No, rather if's and but.

Swathi: Hee hee! YES.

*****

Lot of first and the real fun began with the first proposal. Guys really don't know how to make it special. But they do make the girl smile. And of the many qualities girls have, they will never forget when & how you made them smile. Just keep adding away these when & how timestamps.

Thinking of the song, girls were singing; it holds so true... Indeed college days are the best days of our life.

The flaws vs The mistakes

"ha ha ha, so you managed to goof up so badly.", said rajesh while holding his stomach and rolling on the floor laughing.

"Come on, rajesh. How was I supposed to talk to him? He is my senior in college and now my boss in office. I am not great in hiding emotions but I cant just show him my feelings too." replied sheepish-shilpa.

"Yes. You are not supposed to tell him that you like him ever since he asked you for Pen in college and you sent him SMS on Valentines Day.", rajesh replied enjoying the moment.

Now with almost in crying state Shilpa begs for help, "Every one was wishing each other, so I thought, I will also forward SMS. Okay I made a mistake, how do I apologies?"

"First you make a terrible mistake and now you want to do it all over again? Are you crazy lady? Listen to me, just behave like nothing happened. And now that the cat is out of the box, you have amazing chance to find out whether he has some feelings or not. So pretend like nothing happened." adviced rajesh.

***

Rajesh and Shilpa are identical twins and have special chemistry. never has been a moment in ones life that the other doesn't know about. Be it the first crush, to first kiss, they have been an ideal brother-sister. And Rajesh like always enjoying Shilpa's longest lasting crush. Her college-mate or as she once said on her 20th birthday, soul-mate...Shri.

*******

"Dino, why do I have to act smart always? I am so stupid, no-no I am more than stupid." spoke the confused Shri to his roommate.

Dino was still getting over 14th feb party hangover, opened his eyes and said to Shri, "What crap are you talking man? If you are asking me, I agree every bit of it. You are STUPID. No doubt about it. But why all of sudden? And what about acting smart?"

"I have this cryptonic flaw in me, which makes me act too smart aka stupid in front of Shilpa. From college to present, we have shared so many 3-D space, but none of it has been in vicinity of candles, food or even coffee. The first time it was supposed to be walk till college gate and I manage to blur out PEN. I am full of jinx." pointed Shri while smashing few of Medusa and Minotaur on his Playstation.

"Ah! Not again. Please no. I have been your roommate for the past 6 years and in-between all the girls who tried to hold your attention, you manage to stick on your same old gramophone record." pleaded Dino.

"Hey comeon man! You know, irrespective of how popular I was in college, Shilpa never looked at me. I am sure she is seeing someone. Otherwise, why wouldn't she say anything?" defended Shri (and there goes another bunch of mythical creature butchered by blades of chaos)

Bored with the game, Shri threw down the dualshock and switched to his iPhone. Mad about his gadgets, suddenly Shri's smile widened.

"Dino, Shilpa sent me Valentine SMS. Do you believe it?" jumped Shri.

"WHAT $%^@&? Total Hangover shocker!!!" screamed Dino, jumping onto Shri to have a look.

"What the hell man, you got SMS from the whole team. If Shilpa sent it what's the big deal. Someone would have sent it to her and she would have forward it to 10-20 people just like you." said a disappointed Dino, getting back to his bed.

"Thanks! You could have been a little more supportive. Anyways, now I will see what I can talk about tomorrow? May be I will tell, I had a date on 14th. She should feel jealous if she actually sent this SMS." said Shri with puzzled look.

***

"Hi Shri, how was the weekend?" asked shilpa, first day back in office after the goofup sms episode.
"Ah! Shilpa. It was nice. Actually I had a date on 14th. My friend came along with his girlfriend and her roommate. She was sweet." replied Shri, looking as usual the cool-hunk.

***

Shri is the heart-throb during in college time, being part of tennis, swimming and cricket team. Yet there are something that is a miss... Let us all find that out.

"Rajesh, I will bury you 6 feet under. You were the one who advised me in acting like nothing happened. And Shri comes back saying he got a date on the 14th. You are such a pig." screamed Shilpa to her bro on the phone.
"Calm down lady. Don't be so jumpy. How many guys you know will tell college friend or team-mate or may be junior in office about date? It sounds all so artificial and goofy." explained Rajesh to his hot head sister.
"Why is it so hard for him to just notice all my love and care? I know all his favourites, from color, to food choice. Just why?" cried Shilpa.
"Deary, it is not the color but the compatibility matters. Give it some time and you will know it all. Then you will feel so stupid why you acted like this." helped Rajesh.

***

So Mr.Flaw and Ms.Mistake lead 8-10 hrs of 3-D life together not knowing that at 0,0,0 co-ordinate (aka Heart) was immense love for each other. Love which has taught Ms how to feel shy in front of Mr in her otherwise stubborn, hot headed life with her family & on other hand has added a Static contant shared across world as "love" to Mr's ever changing life.

What if all wishes come true!

I woke up with a smile on my face & warm comfort beside me. I got married a week back. "Nisha", she came into my life and changed everything. She lies beside me, sleeping like a angel. Today is her turn for the breakfast but I don't want to get up. She hates my cooking and wait for her turn every alternate weekend.

I don't believe it that we met just 5 weeks back. Accidentally she bumped into me while riding her bicycle in our society complex. She bruised her knee while I got a spoke poked in my leg. The visit to doctor moved on to letter of apology (HANDWRITTEN) from her. She came to see me play tennis, once my calf was healed. She tried so hard for me to see the love but I was dumb and never asked her out. Finally when I did say, she laughed and said, "I thought you will never ask."

The dinner was supposed to be casual in my terms, so I dressed up in Jeans & T-shirt. And when I went to her door, it looked like I was the cab driver, rather than her date. The sapphire suit she wore and hair let down made my heart skip a beat. Tugging into my arm she said, "I knew you will never get out of Jeans & T-shirt. May be that is what I like in you, Akaash."

From that dinner, we never looked back. I met her parents a week later and a week after our family were already deciding on dates (many long distance calls). My mom was on phone with her more than I could. She will go on about dresses and makeup and yes, some of my embarrassing childhood memories. Two women who have the credit for writing my life were savouring the moment. Even when we go out shopping, mom constantly will call and ask, "Is Akaash being miser? He can be one?".

The dates came and it was a disaster. 6 Months of courtship period. Already it was hard enough to spend day in office and night talking on phone when we lived in the same society, few blocks away. I won't count myself Romantic. I am more of a dork. May be the Mr.Clumsy in me which attracts her. But then one day, sitting at my friends apartment I was given the best advice ever.

Sheru (short for Shivendu) said, "Dude if the two of you are getting miserable and can't wait for another 5months and 1week, run away and get married in some temple. Shelly and I will help?"

I replied, "Dude, our parents are going crazy over preparation. I hear from my mom everyday time isn't sufficient for her. And we do this? Both families will probably disown us both."

"Get married and then tell me what will they say? Live separately? Come-on. And for a change you can do something romantic. Now go and tell her you will do this. I am sure she will agree.", forced Sheru. And then Shelly (Sheru's wife) also joined. The whole idea was crazy but possible. Her parents know we are together most weekends shopping. But I was worried whether Nisha will like it or not?

***

"I love you, babyboy. I will be waiting for next Saturday. Dad will be fuming, but mom will handle everything." she replied with a kiss. The glow in her eyes, the touch of her hand. It was all so wonderful.

***

"WHAT? YOU GOT MARRIED?", screamed my father on the phone. "HOW COULD YOU BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE. WHAT WILL I TELL SAMDHIJI? YOU MADE A FOOL OF US. YOUNG MAN THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I EXPECTED FROM YOU."

"Dad, I love you guys. Can you just take the next flight in and come down here. Sheru and I have setup a small party here. And don't talk to baba (Nisha called her dad and so I got in the same habit). We will handle it before you come. Please. I love you guys." I calmed him with lot of love and emotional tone.

"You bet we will be there to see our daughter on her special date. And ask her what stupid charm she saw in you. You both are crazy. Anyways, you go and talk to samdhiji." a caring dad said.

***

The party was small and as Nisha and I sat across the table; she with my family and I with hers. A tradition followed in her family, our eyes were playing games. The time has finally come to be forever together. If love can be intoxicating, I am sure we both had poisoned every dish that night.

***

"Babyboy, what are you doing up so early on Saturday morning? And what are you writing?" Nisha asked with sleepy eyes. The trail of thoughts were broken with my sleeping beauty waking up.

I replied, "All wishes have come true", before hugging her and going back to sleep.

No Guts no Glory...

Time and again L.O.V.E. has tricked many and baffled the thoughts of the two noble species tendering mother earth. Is it the desire to know how other feels or how both are connected with an unknown and unseen power? May be that is why Love is as red as our blood. It flows in our very veins and the purity of love can be measure by what our heart does - Purify blood aka purifying Love.

From the olden times where "Men" goes out for hunting and "Women" makes home a paradise to live in to the medieval times and roman history where "Women" empowered the senate and other monarchy or democrats to the modern age where days like 14th Feb bask the complete word in one color - the color of love, the color red, we have seen these two unique species involved in romantic and delicate times.

On a personal note, "I" come from place where it take far more courage in expressing love. No I didn't mean the people who create problems on 14th Feb and hitting women wearing western clothes but the mere thought of expressing love is tricky, charming, Different. For some it is easy but I can see for most it is difficult (that includes me too). And I am not being Gender specific here. I have seen my fast friends from the fairer sex find it hard to break the nut-head of few guys. No one is being blamed here. It is just the shy-factor or the fun-factor making us all enjoy how and when should we express our self.

Currently undergoing physio, I saw young doctors and medical students in groups. Sometimes the professional intimacy helps in expressing ones feeling. Common joke where a male doctor ask a female doctor to check with her Stethoskops why his heart has stop just because the female doctor has stepped into the room.

Going back to "my" world of IT professional, I do not know how to express the same desire here on my blog which I have started to feel recently in my office. I consider myself workaholic. Who believes 5 days of week should be spent labouring in office. Not necessary for 12-14 hrs, like my fellow college mates in Bank, but what ever work is given should be on a ASAP basis. In this mindset suddenly at a party organized by my group mate after being married brought a feeling closely associated to love. I know for certain it is not love. It cant be cause I haven't even talk to her. I saw her in his function and she looked so beautiful. May be a sense of infatuation (if that is the right word...) From then on I got occupied with work and never got a chance to find more about her. Recently luncheon timings have somehow made me come across her. She in simple and I am sure that is what makes me just go across the table and say "Hi" to her. But here is where the whole feeling of knowing someone doesn't work. I won't mind making a fool of myself by this act but what next after Hi? It surely will not work and the only way it will be the disastrous way.

Then comes my evil twin who reminds me of all the problems, she might be engaged to someone? she might NOT seriously interested in guys? she might have family values which restrict her in having such notion? And I respect all of them but don't wanna believe any of them.

Now there is a possible way to know about her personality but asking her close friends. But I get into a risk of her knowing this. It creates a problem as she might not like the whole idea of me inquiring something. So where does it leave me - admirer who sits at lunch table always thinking if he will ever have the GUTS to go over her table and say HI? I will hate to be that person.
So here in the end I just wait to find that one chance where I just get to talk to her, no matter how short it is - 30sec? 2mins? a lunch?

And just to clarify, the title of this short say, No Guts no Glory - its correct and wrong depending in how we interpret it. If you think by knowing someone and making her/him fall in love is an achieved Glory, then your intertpretation is wrong. Here Guts and Glory is to over come the resistance we are born with and overtime we manage to know how to overcome our own limitations. This is how I define Glory. As for Love, I am too small soul to explain what it is like. And even if you read what I say about Love, you will still not be able to understand it. I know Love is something to be felt and not told. Saying I love you is not even comparable than just doing some act which brings smile on her face.

I still wait for those 30secs...

For my angel...

Something happens to me when I see you oh! Baby...

You bring a warmth inside me Oh! Baby...

You brought joy to our family Oh! Baby...

You got your chubby cheeks like you mom Oh! Baby...

& Your nose reminds me of your father as kid Oh! Baby...

Love from Nanu, nani, mama(s), mami

& a life long care from dada dadi chacha (no chachi) Oh! Baby...

A tribute to Randy Pausch

On a saturday morning when I was having my first feeling of being a workaholic, my friend pinged me with this link http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo which turned out to be a really huge one (around 1hr 16mins), I had no idea, I will have traces of tears down my eyes. I have been emotional in the past and presentation about life, struggle, success and numerous other things have made me nostalgic. Yet this amazing person, Randy Pausch (yes I was unaware of him, even though going through a whole semester studying Computer Graphics), amazed me to new levels.
He uses some trade mark style one will see in a presentation, his idea has brough revolution in so many fields.. But above all, he was a person so pure at heart. And as my grandma used to say, "Even God has shortage of Good people around in heaven, that is why he was called to spread his charm", Randy Pausch passed away on july 25 2008, leaving a legacy for us all to cherish.

I am not a believer in adding Video's to the blogger page unless they spread the right knowledge. And hence, I am adding his Last Lecture here.

Love for food...

A day in Bangalore, a day to remember and all I can think of this day, which should have never come in my life, an ever lasting memory. From early childhood, the only reason I have gone into a kitchen is to eat or in search of something sweet (imagine an ant in hunt of sugar). With 32 sweet-teeth (yeah even my wisdom 's looking for sugar), I have believed in food and its various form. From Bundi ke laddu to Jalebi, from kala-jaam to nani-made basan-laddu.
And as I continue to talk about food with my mouth watered, it was a different person who took center-stage (ME), entering kitchen with a mission - Mission Indian-Bread (or in simple terms - plain parathas). With the grounded floor I started in the company of esteem friend (a college buddy - has asked me not to reveal his name - no explanation) who didn't want to make the doug of wheat for making the Indian-breads. As I pour water, drop by drop, I realize how easy was it for our Mother who used to whipped her magic and turn powder into a clay-like mass and how difficult it is for a muggle like me (non-magical folk). Ofcourse the clay like mass was close, yet really sticky and just refused to come of my hand. And as a little kid, who searches for his mother's hand while learning how to walk, I searched for my mobile and called my sexy-babe (my mom).
In shock, yet she was able to tell me to pour dry floor, till I get it hard and firm like a clay-like mass. And it worked, IT REALLY WORKED (thanks Mom)....
Everyone will think, I would have stopped there. Tired, huffing and puffing, I continue, tired, exhausted (okay I am exaggerating it a lot), to roll them into shapes. Ah! Another art of its own!! I have laughed in the past on my brother or cousins, who have attempted there luck at the art of rolling doug-balls into circular or triangular breads. And now the circle-of-life laughs at me, challenging me to bring the right shape.
4 attempts and this was the shapes:
- Attempt 1 : Can't define the shape or yeah kind of in shape of ameoba
- Attempt 2 : Sort of a rombus; can't be sure though
- Attempt 3 : Most funny of all, tried to make circular, instead of triangular bread; turned out to be a fish
- AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE : YES, I finally managed a triangular shape. I know, some of my friends will never believe and hence the pic

And so the affair with food has another story to tell. For days to come I will always cherish this very moment.

Untitled: Scene 2 (incomplete)

Back-Office
HCU headquarters were located in Mumbai (or for some Bombay) and hence all the funds used to flow to the Finance capital of India. The posh buildings with all the latest gadgets, HCU headquarters was nothing less than a modern castle. Bangalore office, on the contrary was an old rickety building with broken windows and old termite-ridden doors.

Untitled: Scene 1 (incomplete)

THE FALL

"The person jumped right of the roof, officer", tea stall vendor told the plain-suit officer, standing right next to a dis-mangled figure covered with blood and a white sheet.

"Where were you when he jumped, did you see him jumping?", asked the middle-aged, homicide crime unit (HCU) office, Mr. D'souza.

"I was here only sir, selling tea and biscuits to the folks passing on the street. I heard a loud crash, then the car siren went off. Finally the lady I was serving tea, started screaming. I turned around to see the guy for the first time, lying on the smashed car parked on the shoulder of the road. Some people were pointing at the roof top. I also looked up to see where he has jumped from. Such a horrible site sir.", replied the vendor.

"Did you see anyone on the roof top when he jumped, there is a restaurant at the top? It is afternoon, people should be eating there. Someone should have stopped him." asked the officer.

"No sir, there will be no one today. Once a month, this restaurant is closed, generally it is first Saturday of every month, but this time they had a big party organized here. So they chose the third Saturday. No one is there on the roof top restaurant." replied the vendor.

After asking the general information about the tea stall vendor, Mr.D'souza called his junior officer to know more about the victim.

The junior officer walked up to D'souza and handed him few articles, kept inside a plastic bag.

"We found this wallet, mobile and a ring in a white envelope with no names on it, inside his pocket. Victim is Avinash Parthasarthy, resident of kolkata, working here as a software professional. I ran a check on our local database, found out he was once roughed up by RT Nagar police (north Bangalore) for possession of drugs. Got bailed out from his rich dad and since then attending some rehabilitation program. Guess is, the judge is Golf time-buddy with the rich boy's dad. Didn't get any sentence, just a warning as the quantity was less than 10gms. Self-use." informed the officer, Mr. Nath.

"Thanks Prem, call the forensic team, ask them to check out the roof top. Already the local police and their inefficient constables would have left you enough prints & enough problems to find the right information. I will go and talk to Mr.Anand, may be I can convince him to take the local police off, so we can get some work done here. Till then secure the whole area, re-route the traffic, ask the manager of the hotel no one leaves; even to piss. I need everyone in the ball-room. It is on the 2nd floor." ordered the senior man.

"How do you know so much about this hotel? You shifted recently to Bangalore? And the place looks like more than our pay-level." inquired Prem.

"Well, my wife's close relative got married last year and I had to attend that marriage. Accidentally that happened here, this very hotel. If they haven't renovated recently, the building is most likely to be the same.", D'souza said, as he walked into the entrance of Hotel Grand, searching for the officer in charge Mr.Anand, a corrupt officer, know to accept hafta (bribe) from the hotel & resorts which come in plenty in his area.

The entranced looked exactly the same to the senior officer, like when he visited with his wife the year before. Mirrors with Golden border makes up the facade & the big illuminated letters G.R.A.N.D. making the hotel look rather too expensive. The rich and poor both are part of the success of this hotel, while the rich throw away money on anything the hotel offers, it is the poor who worked hours in kitchens, rooms, halls to make it large & indeed Grand. How apt the name of the hotel was.

The hotel was not a normal 5 star luxury comfort in the city. It was owned by a rich liquor tycoon, Mr. K. Raheja, who rather spends extra when it comes to buildings. Along with his 5 resorts on the outskirts of Bangalore, he had 2 very special hotels, one right at the center of the city on St.Marks road, named St.Marks where as Hotel Grand lies on the Outer ring road. The hotel was build over the period of 4 years 2001-05 by the renowned WATG company (who has places like The Royal Hawaiian hotel in Waikiki, The palace tower at Caesar's palace and others, part of their portfolio) over an area of 50,000 sq feet having banquet hall and meeting facilities, full time spa and fitness center, retail shops, restaurants (including the one on the roof top from where the victim jumped), swimming complex with marble-lined pools, two whirlpools, pool bar and 500 sq feet rooms giving the extra space guests needs.

As Mr.D'souza entered the hotel through the golden revolving doors, stepping on the fine Italian marble floor having the Persian rug leading to the Concierge desk, a voice called him over to the waiting lounge towards the left of the entrance.

"My old friend. So you finally made it. Are you getting old, taking time to reach here or your man briefed you regarding the corpse on the hood of the car?", replied Mr.Anand.

"As for friend, I don't mingle with the local police and yeah the man under my orders follows professional approach, which other departments have certainly lacked in the past." snapped D'souza.

"Enough of the chit-chat and discussion. What are you doing here? Aren't you at the roof top taking care of any possible evidence?" added D'souza sarcastically. "And why did you call me? This doesn't reach us until you send the FIR (first information report) to our department." inquire D'souza.

"Even when a high profile suicide like this happens, we do not go banging on the HCU door. Apart from the other stuff boy head, there was a business card in his hand. I knew your man will sniff the other stuff from a distance, but I managed to take the card away. And guess what, whose name is on that card - Mr. Alex D'Souza, Senior Field officer, Homicide Crime Unit. Isn't that strange?" barked Anand.

Anand continued and said, "As for the barging in into the elite Grand Hotel, I was stopped by our so-called justice department. The hotel owner has restricted our access till his arrival in the evening and we don't want charges against our department for trespassing. Understood?"

"So you have already made up your mind that this is a suicide and not a murder. Interesting! But you know how 'I' operate. There has been a murder and no bloody judge can give me orders to stay here as this is objection to investigation. As for the owner, I know his relation with you and that certainly hampers your act of duty. I am not waiting here, till some old man comes and give us pep-talk. Got that!". replied D'souza with a touch of arrogance.

"Listen pal! I haven't decided what it is, to me it doesn't matter. The guy is dead, either his corpse will send us hunting for a murderer or a slow process of solving why he leaped of the building. It will not gonna bring him back. I am doing as much as my job as I can, for old time sake I pick the card of and waited till you come. Yes, I have business with the hotel owner, but that shouldn't be your concern right now, what should be your concerned is, how to investigate this case while you are on the suspects list. Try to think about that in this air conditioned waiting lounge, while I come back after a smoke." Anand said while jabbing the card into D'souza's chest and started walking towards the lounge glass door.

D'souza do not approve Anand as an officer. They had been together in the academy and were fast friends. Sharing the same room, their goals were somewhat similar. Anand was smarter than D'souza and has aced all his exams, physical & mental. D'souza was his toughest competitor yet they remain friends. Both had plans to sit for senior exams after completion of Police academy training. With big-appetite for homicides and knack of solving mysteries, both were destined to become great crime investigators. But fate had other ideas. Death of Anand's father, made him discontinue his study. Lack of financial support forced Anand to join the Police force to earn two-piece of bread for his family. That was the end of a friendship which one existed between D'souza and Anand. While D'souza continued to be as bright he was (and no more challenges from Anand) he entered into the Homicide crime unit where as Anand was left with the bitterness of life. Money was the soul aim of his living. For what could have been an honest officer, he became a shame to police force. Even D'souza couldn't manage to save Anand from his misery.

"Wait Anand. I want to talk to you. First, why should I be the investigating officer. Have you reported the details to Chief? Did he? And just because Avinash had my card doesn't mean I am on the suspect list?" said D'souza.

Mr. Ashok Darward was man of principles. He ran the police force as a school, where he is the principal and all officers on his teaching staff. Though Chief is more of a western style of addressing the senior most officer in police, Ashok's craze for English movies has earned him the same title of Chief and somewhat the same respect.

"You know how it works in our department. Chiefs gets all first hand details. And he agreed with the idea of removing the card. Flip the card and you will know the reason why I called you. I could have taken you into custody for question with this card, but my instincts says the corpse wanted you more than us." cleared Anand.

D'souza flipped the card to see the letters written:

"Help me!", D'souza read it with a strange look.

"Do you see the letter 'M' in the second word. It is number 3 written horizontally." told Anand.

D'souza gets on his walkie-talkie and calls Prem, "Prem, get on the records and check is there any relation between the victim and me. Check medical records, did we share a hospital, Check blood sample and donation camp visits, Check victims where-abouts when I was in bangalore last year, was he also attending the marriage. Check any Goddamn possibility and find me a link. And yeah one more thing, this is off the record. Result should be on my table along side my dinner. Round up the team, call Meddy from the forensic lab, I need her to gather all the details, she wont be able to go to the roof top, but at least get prints on his clothes etc. Take the body to morgue and get the autopsy done by Hammer. Ask him to join us in office for dinner. I want details on that ring you found, there has to be a finger which was supposed to wear it? Find that person. Put two people on it. Check the calls statements from the mobile and his credit life-style from his wallet. Ze can handle this from the back office. Call up the victims family, see who can come down from Kolkatta. Lets gather around 10, we have a story to solve so better stock up the fridge with food and beverages - but no alcohol. Got that?"
"Yes, boss. I will get on it right away. Also, the press is here, what do you want me to say?" asked Prem.

"You know, I don't take the press till I have a lead. Keep them at bay and release the statement that this was an accident. I will handle the hotel staff.", said D'soouza as the line went dead.

"Yeah I saw the letter 'M'. Okay Anand, I am fine being on the suspect list, but as you know I am here to help. You can put your best man to dig any dirty details on me. In the mean time I will see what can I do about this card. You will anyhow breath down my neck during this investigation, so better be of some help. I want you to get the owner and tell him we are on the roof top. If he likes he can join me for evening snacks. And please, as much as possible, keep the owner of my back. I hate people when they drag me down." requested D'souza.

"Fine, I will see what I can do. You go ahead and check the roof. Also, get me a cheese burger for dinner, along with chips and cola. I will be their at 9:30." smiled Anand.

ROOFTOP

"Mili, you are the Restaurant in-charge?" enquired D'souza.

"Yeah, I am the caretaker of this place. I rushed in as soon as the hotel clerk called me about this incident. As you already know it was our day off." replied Mili, a talented young lady.

"Do you know the victim? Has he visited this place before? And how did he manage to get access to rooftop when it was close?" asked D'souza as he started his investigation.

"Yes, Mr.Parthasarthy has been our regular customer. His father stays at St.Marks each time he visits his son. Mr.Avinash had already booked his engagement ceremony in our banquet hall. It was initially scheduled for 15 of next month, but I recieved a call from Mr.Parthasarthy asking to reschedule the ceremony. I asked for the new date and reason behind it. He said, he prefers it to be on the 3rd of next month without stating any clear reason. Also he requested this information to be hidden from his dad or Ms.Sahay. I am not sure how he managed to reach the roof top." answered Mili. The sadness was clearly visible in her eyes. D'souza was able to see how much Mili was disturbed. Shows how much in the past few days the victim and Mili has interacted.

"Ms.Sahay? Who is she? I dont think software professional got secetaries?" asked the officer, looking around the place for any noticable change in furniture.

"No Ms.Sahay is not his secetary. She is Mr.Parthasarthy's girl friend. They were plannin to get engaged here. She must be broken right now. They looked so nice as a couple. Mr.Parthasarthy has asked me to fill the whole place with lillies. Ms.Sahay has this thing for lillies."

"Well we havent informed any one apart from the immediate family. If you have the contact number of Ms.Sahay, I would you to pass that information to Mr.Nath; he will be hotel lobby. And if possible, please send the elevator boy and your Manager. I would like to have a word with them. They will be in the second floor ball room. Also, if possible, please dont go far. I might need your assistance again." said D'souza, as he walked away towards the edge of the roof.

The railing was approximately 4feet high, with a silver bar running at the top. The mud in the area and on the railing showed that someone has tried to climb on the railing. D'souza knew it would be from the victim's shoes, but this needs to be clarified by his forensic expert. D'souza had a strange feeling as it hasnt rained in Bangalore in a week, so having mud is unlikely. His thoughts were disturbed when a deep voice call out his name.

"Inspector D'souza, I was told by my staff in the ball room I can find you here. Let me introduce myself, I am Kishore Raheja, owner and head of Raheja group of hotels and resort. I was one of the generous doners at the Police Fund raiser function last year. Your head will know me clearly." as he smokes a cuban cigar. This was the introduction of Bangalore's rich and mean business Tycoon, K.Raheja. Clearly the smoke he exhaled gives the vibes of money. Started as a small builder he soon got interested into liquor business. News circulated that he got his liquour license by gifting a penthouse to Minister's wife and probably sleeping with her too.

As Inspector D'souza rounded up with the owner, the elevator boy and the Manager, Mr. Chandu, joined them at the rooftop. The questions were brief and still Inspector D'souza had no clue why Avinash came to the roof top to take a leap. As per the elevator boy, Avinash must have slipped past the delivery boys at the back of the hotel and must have taken the service elevator. No one saw him coming up and no one saw anyone leave. So there is still a chance some might have pushed the victim. The Manager was off duty during lunch hours and the person in-charge Mr. Alok, a confident looking man has joined Inspector D'souza on the rooftop.

"Hello Inspector. My name is Alok. I am afternoon shift sub-manager. How can I be of assistance?", replied Alok. A well built, in mid-twenties, Alok has been working for past 3 years. With some luck and preferences from his love, Mili, he has managed to do more than good in the Raheja chain of hotels.

"Did you know the victim, Mr. Parthasarthy? Did you have any conversation with him lately? Was he tense about anything?" asked the inspector, noticing

Bed, Book & Laptop

Boooom.... Yup, Bangalore (India) no longer is safe. With 8 bombs going up (were of low intensity) and the 9th one found (& defused), it was a lockout for me. The plan was to go out play some game of Cricket, look around for apartment (still the hunt is on) and eat out at favo places. Some spicy chicken or some corner house Ice-cream. Aint gonna happen this weekend, because of some misleaded people. Yeah, they are the people who are misleaded in doing such act of loonesy. But this topic is for some other day. Having witness communcal rights and almost died in one of then, for me it is a sensitive topic.
Locked down and little sick (cough & cold) I had no choice but to resort to my favo pass time. Sitting on my laptop reading some ramdon article on the net, checking out what new stuff hits the market (mostly in world of computers), reading a book (right now onto the appeal - by john grisham) & watching tv. A story of somesort came to my mind. These are times when I bless my office to give me a laptop. I know the rule state to use it for official purpose only, but it is hard to manage two laptop. So for all sane purposes, I have to bend the rule. Amen! Let us write this story in different blog...

Review: The Dark Night

Rating: 3.5/5

So when my brother made plan with his office colleagues for this new blockbluster, I forced my colleague, Sachit for a late night movie too. Though wednesday isn't the best day to go for 10 o clock movie, still it didnt turn out to be such a bad idea (i did manage to reach office in nick of time).

The movie starts of with a little weird stuff, the local public trying to copy-(b)at the batman. Not a great idea, as there is only one hero in these comic books. The entrance with the bat-mobile and then jumping on to the hood of the car or what ever that was left of it - Thats an entrance. Now with the big boys, I mean the rich and hunk kind of guys, like the Bruce Wayne we had, it was sad to see him trying to find girl just because the new DEA is taking out the only girl he likes. Okay fine, I will give Mr.Wayne a little benefit of doubt. After all, he has the money, power and the charm to lure any one of them! Right - Mr. Wayne.

Joker!! Ha ha ha!!! --- Lets put a smile on your face --- The guy has left us all with a oscar-winning performance. I loved his acting all along, yeah remember that magic trick - kids, dont try that home. Comparisons are bad, but what Gabbar showed the Bollywood in Sholey, Joker had the same lasting effect. Even as I left the hall (apart from checking the good crowd) the only voice that lasted was of the J' rather than the Bat.

The worst performer will be the girl-friend. And as this is a cape-crusader film, I expected atleast a better character. Not much of a part, so she didnt pay attention while doing it. Good they finished her of, so in the next part just dont bother having her :) Good job director...

Mr. DEA had a sine-curve job. From being the un-masked hero he became the scared,burnt face villan. The special effect or the make up on the face (what ever it was) was shocking, let alive. Especially the eye! Phew...!! Gives the whole hall jitters.

The background beats, the camera-work, the costumes and the gadget work were all fancy and would have taken great effort to put in. Comissioner Gorden was the usual and the trick of killing him and bringing him back was good. The computer geek with his sonar funda was new and affective, though the hostage wrapped as villan and villan wrapped as hostage was old.

Now, my review is kind of all over the place and that is what made me feel was the movie too... What is the point the director is trying to bring out? That rules aint good? Or no, we humans are bound to make mistake yet with a guiding hand of a hero we can act sane. The ending was good and bad at the same time, but then it is just a prespective.

Again, things to look out for in no specific order:

1. Joker (this anyways would have topped any list)

2. Stunts, a big screen movie.

3. Ofcourse the Bat-man and the Burnt face DEA head.

4. Last and not the least, the gadgets. Car, Bike, clothes... All awesome.

Oops & sorry, forgot to add about Alfred, but then his role is always great. Same goes here :)

So until next time... Keep out of trouble and batman's way!

Review: A Prisoner of Birth by Jeffrey Archer

Rating: 4/5

Jeffrey Archer has done it again. Mesmerizing me with his new Novel - A Prisoner of Birth. His books are more of a screenplay where anyone with half-decent imagination can see it all happening like a movie. Especially born in the Age of Harry Potter, LOTR, Eragon and lot of other enchanting magical stories, the imagination of my-kind reaches far.

The books starts off well, especially the finner details of how the brawl takes place between our hero - Danny Auther Cartwright and the bad guys - Craig and etc... Few lose ends were their during the initial trial, like why no forensic test were conducted on Craig for blood, after all the book is written in the age of Discovery Channel and the ultra violet light. Not even a single drop of blood on the path from the pub to Craig's Apartment? I know I am a bit harsh, but a story of how Craig manages to get away from that would have been fun (and would have made the book last for more than a day for me).

Moving on to the prison part, I can say it was neatly done. I like the way JA kept the interest of readers by making good things happen to our hero Danny in prison. No mention of obscenity in prison was also appreciated otherwise mention of gang rape in showers or brawls are quite common in any story with prison. Lose end again was the not-so-enough reason from Leach to kill or attempt to kill Danny in the showers while the football match was on. Could have added another page or two for a fight between Danny & Leach would have spiced the whole issue (yes I am contradicting my earlier point, but here it seems so relevant to me).

The freedom couldnt have been done better. As some might point out, how can two people look so similar and yet have no blood relation, I can assure them that I have met people in my Life where they look so similar (though in my case the person was a girl). The battle between uncle Hugo and nephew was interesting (and little funny...). But I felt the whole idea regarding the collection of stamps and grandfather's will, were only necessary so Danny can have cash in hand to battle against the gang-of-four (no reference to java community people). Interesting part was how the author subtly mention Danny's progress in study only to open later his skills towards Business and how to handle money-matter.

The revenge was disappointing to me. For me the one in NOT A PENNY LESS, NOT A PENNY MORE was far more elegant. I liked the JA in that book rather here. For me it turned out to be a clip from Hindi movie TRISHUL (oldy with Amitabh bachchan). The silver lining here were the supporting cast and crew (the other characters in the novel) - the bank manager, Scottish legal adviser etc etc. Their parts were well written and really gelled the whole story together making a unforgettable experience for the reader. In the end it was a quick kill in the court, where mistakes were done in plenty by the actual offenders.

As I have no knowledge of Law, especially English law, I was left wondering why the judge denied any reference to the previous sentence? This is something I will need to search and learn on my own.

Things to lookout for will be a long list so I will point out very few of them:

1. Friendship between Danny and Nick, with a great supporting role of the Big Al.

2. The amazing way of find the Second will was fake. I for once was unable to guess what will happen next (again showing my knowledge of Law)

3. Scottish Legal adviser: two amazing act, one was in the court room, second the below the belt hit

4. Love between Danny & Beth - it was kept to apt levels and not overdose of romantic flair. Thank God, the author didnt give bail to Danny once in a while, otherwise Beth would have become a kid-vending machine.

5. Last (from my side, though there will be many more) - the title, A Prisoner of Birth. I am not 100% sure I have got the meaning, but still I can say I have a fair idea which is - you pay for your deeds in this life and this life only & hence everyone is A Prisoner of Birth.

There has been places where JA has mentioned Cricket and I like a true Indian, who may not be best in Cricket, but still holds an opinion, I will say - The book was not a master-blaster package of Sehwag or Peterson's swash-buckling shots, but more of a replay of eligant innings from Sachin or Dravid for that matter. I enjoyed the read, hope you do it too...

Love with the snakey

After all these years on computer the love for this game will never die. The new way to play games has been introduced by Google, the old Snakey.

History: The game was first time seen as nibble part of the MS-DOS OS. Under the DOS root directory there were two very interesting games, one ofcourse was NIBBLE and the other one was the GORILLA. The latter was more of a logical game where two players throw boomrang on each other - inputs were, speed and angle. For obstacles there were buildings which will boggey your throw if you hit them. Amazing game!!!

Today: Nokia and other mobile companies actually selected SNAKES (or nibble as I like to call it) to be part of our day today life. Especially sunday afternoons during colleage life where we will spend hours and hours beating our previous best. Google once again has gladden lot of people's heart bringing SNAKES back to our life. I am still stuggling, but I hope many others will be able to score much better than what i have achieved so far (140...).

Future: I start to score more in this snakey.. Labs bring in more games like pacman, etc... And we see SNAKEY changing into something unexpected...

Keep playing...

Searching for Apartment in Bangalore

Searching for home has really made me realize, life without a rich dad isnt that fun. Even if he isnt a Tata, Birla or Ambani, he should atleast have a business which earns him good amount of money.
So my first visit was onto Hosur Road (still the work is pending and I dont see it getting completed till 2010). After searching for all friends & family, I managed to convince Sachit to accompany me in-the-hunt-for-a-roof. After the Toyoto and Hyundai Showrooms, turn to Hodlu road, I reached SRK Garden. The place was partially completly and partially sold. After the inital look at the plans and details, we both started checking out the apartments.
We started with Block A (part of the phase 1) and looked around for 3 BHKs (I really want to purchase 3 BHK as my first home - though this dream looks a dream only now). The rooms were really small and the toilets were barely space. We all know the amount of time we spend in toilets, but still comfort in these places should be given relevance. (just kidding).
Sachit and I both came to the conclusion that the builder tried to sqeeze in 3 BHK in 2 BHK space and was not sure how to utilize the space at its best. Finally the visit to C block (which was sold mostly) made us show some good 2 BHK houses (over looking the expected swimming pool).
Over all I was impressed with the quality and the plan of the houses in C block. The draw backs were lot and mainly the reason my brother, father and I thought of not persuing it - The location. With Hosur road far away from New Internaltion Airport, City development will be in the opposite direction. Also, there are lot of local public living in this area, hence not expecting loads of development like malls, showrooms coming in and around.
Sorry SRK Gardens, but you will have to live without us and we will live without you. Had these appartment anywhere closer to the city, would have thought of buying it.
So the search for roof, still continues with inputs from Dad. bhaiya and loads of helping friends...

Adios...

Nightmares

Everyday I sleep I've these Nightmares...
I use my blood to burn the flares.
I scream for help but no one hears...
I can stop crying but what about these flowing tears.

It is dark, my Love, but I dont fear the night,
As I see you like an angel dressed in white,
Come out, help me, standup and fight,
Be the ray of hope; be the Godsend light.

Dont fear the society, as they fear our powers.
And lets enrich our soul under the heavenly showers.
With our love, we'll bring the spring,
So that we walk free to enjoy the aura of blossomed flowers...

Thinking of you...

Remember gal, when we were walking in the Park?
You wanted to go home. It was late, it was dark.

Remember gal, the numerous rides on the Bike?
You hugged me so tight! The way I used to like.

Remember gal, the love letters that we wrote?
You always made a tiny heart! In the end, like a love-note.

Remember gal, the food we used to share?
You used to eat! But always start with a prayer.

Remember gal, I told I’m comin’ and you screamed?
You waiting at the station! Everything was like a dream.

Of all the times you remembered were when you cried!
Mistakes we both committed, but slowly your love for me died.

I have no one but my God, who knows my love is true!
Though you are long gone, I am still thinking of you!!

MPD

Anger, fury, Why I am always in a rage?
Life sucks! It's Drama; I am on a stinkin' stage.

I play games with others, I throw mud!
Not knowing I’m lyin' in my own cold-blood!

Power, Wealth, Being Godly, that's what I desire…
Diplomatic I'm, I'm nothing but a liar!

My hands are red! A pleasurable thrill,
My eyes glowing, I want to kill, kill...

Wanna play,Wanna play. I'm a good player,
Nice to meet you; They call me the ManSlayer!

Shoot, Shoot!! Blow up the Brain…
I wanna compare which is more of a sweeter pain.

Someone hand me the Scissors, I'll cut myself the thread.
Transition is the best, from being alive to being dead,

Didn’t you like it, when I watched you die for hours?
I came to you visit your grave, brought some flowers.

You all think I have something wrong with my mentality,
NO! I was a victim of Multiple Split Personality.

My Beloved

Countless people in this world have loved
Who says their sentiments were not true?
But they had not the means to advertise their love
Because they were, like you and I, impoverished

My beloved they too would have loved
Whose skill has blessed it with form and beauty
Memorials to their love remain unnamed, unmarked
Ne’er a soul did light a lamp on them

This garden, the bank of Yamuna, palaces
These exquisite walls, these domes, these arches
An emperor, shored up by his wealth
Has made a mockery of our poor people’s love

My beloved, we shall meet some other place

Little Warrior

“Didi, how did my parents look like?”

These were the words of a four year old girl. I took her in my lap and cried for an hour.

These were a part of the challenges that I faced in the early phases of my life. I was a Science side student and I took up to work for an orphanage in which kids were rescued from difficult and different circumstances. There were kids who were disowned after broken marriages, kids with abusive parents, orphans, and kids disowned by un-married underage girls. Our orphanage took them all under one roof and let go of them only after they were able to support themselves. Kids in our orphanage were never put up for adoption. For every child, a distinct plan was devised and based on their likes and skills - they were groomed in specific fields.

Being a very old organization, money was never a problem. Funds would come from people who were once orphans themselves and were part of this organization, from government agencies and also from political parties, which would time use the name of the organization for their political benefits every now and then.

I did not know how to respond to that sudden question that Namita threw at me. I cried; it was very confusing. Namita also started crying; for a 4 year old it was hard to see an adult cry. She was an orphan left at our place by the local police. As far as I remember, she was disowned by her mother. But it was a question that has to be answered. The void in her heart needed some explanation until she grew up to understand why it happened to her. I told her stories of God and Goddesses, how beautiful they looked like, and that that was how her parents looked were.

I always expected kids to come and ask me question like this on my weekly visits. Some used to ask where their parents are right now. Some asked about why their parents fought so much. The questions were endless and the answers were very few. We made the young ones to pray to God as they believed their parents were with God.

My life changed when Arun came into the orphanage. It was one of the usual court hearings where orphanage representatives would go. There would be a notice from court and kids without any relatives would be legally handed over to our organization. Arun was a special case and the police were not best people to handle a 7 year old kid.

Arun’s father was a business-man and his mother was a house-wife. Over a usual family tiff, Arun’s father has beaten up his mom and later in the fury killed her mother with bare hands. Seeing his wife dead, Arun’s father shot himself in front of Arun.

Arun was 6 back then. He lost his voice from that moment.

When I read the case study (as they used to call it), I realized the child has been in and out of different orphanage for almost a year without a trauma-care after what he had been through. All the orphanages had not treated him well as he wasn’t the obvious choice for adoption.

Initially, Arun was not responding to any of the care and treatment shown by the workers and the doctors. He would sit idle in one corner and would show no interest in anything going around him. Almost a month went by and none of my visits helped him come out from the shell.

My mother was never interested in the activity I had taken up along with my studies. She would crib that I should indulge in normal girl-like activities. After every visit this would be the reason of her quarrel with me. But when I question her on these so-called “Girl-Like” activities, she would change the topic. My mother wasn’t a bad person; all she needed was an eye opener. Arun came to my rescue. (I am still not sure who came for whose rescue).

It took me long to convince the organization people, but seeing no change in Arun’s condition over the past one month, they allowed me to take Arun to my home. It was the best month for my mom. In the next one month, I saw my mom feeding, playing, cleaning and loving Arun like her own child. For the first time she saw the right picture, why I liked to spend my weekends at the orphanage rather than at home. Arun liked my company, but I was still unable to see the smile on his face. He has started showing signs of interest but without any emotions. And yes, Arun had no problem in speaking; Doctors said his voice-box has no problems. He just refused to speak.

The month ended and my mother packed Arun neatly back to the orphanage. After reaching the orphanage other kids were very interested in all the stuff Arun got from my mom. Somehow in this one month, one of the workers has spoken out about Arun’s parents and the killings.

The kids knew about Arun’s parents. I won’t say other kids acted evil, because it actually acted as the trigger in Arun’s revival, but kids in private started teasing Arun and making fun of him. The month long effort at my place went down the drains. Arun was once again back to his state of indifference. He would sit in one corner staring on people around him; like he could see everything but did not want to register anything.

Then one day…

“Didi, why did my father kill my mom and himself?” I turned around to see Arun with tears in his eyes. I knew my joy has no bounds. It took him almost 2 years to speak his pain out. Ironically, he spoke about the incident exactly on the same date his father killed himself and his wife 2 years ago.

I wanted to hug Arun and cry along with him. I wanted to gather everyone around and show them that he can speak. But before that I had to heal the wound he had in his heart for 2 long, painful years. I took him out, where the kids were playing and asked him if he wanted the answer. He was big enough to understand my question. He nodded his head while wiping the tears with his shirt.

I told Arun, “At times we all get so angry that we never know what we are doing. My mother scolds me and I many times shout back. That is why we all ask you not to fight. Not to get angry about things. For grown-up it is harder, that is why we ask you to cultivate this habit from early childhood.”

It was Arun who soon became the consular for many fights. He would run up to me and ask for two lollypops and go back to kids who were fighting. He would pull them apart and tell them, “Look you can both either fight and end up killing each other like my parents did, or you can take this lollypop.”

From a person who didn’t talk for 2 years and was never liked among other kids, he became everyone’s friend. He remembered each and every story my mother read to him and he would read them to the young ones. Arun was 8 but he acted 18.

He gave me magic wand, the ultimate solution, the belief never to give up. At times when I felt down and tired of doing something I was failing in, one thought of him and two lollypops would come in front of my eyes. He became my strength.

***

Now you would be wondering why I am writing so much about Arun. It’s been almost fifteen years since I saw Arun or any of the other orphanage’s people. I moved on with my life, got a career in Architecture. After that got married and now have two kids. My husband and I regularly talk about the prospects in architecture and interior design. But each time I will turn it down. He doesn’t like me not following my career. And again no one else but Arun came to my rescue.

I received a letter which was addressed to me but had no communicating address. It all pointed to the orphanage where I have once lived and learned. Talking about the past, talking about the things I did for the kids. It asked me to visit this place on my birth day. I wasn’t as keen initially of going as my husband knew very less about the orphanage but then there was something along with the letter – two lollypops.

Each time a kid walks out of the orphanage as a woman/man, she/he has to select a date when all kids can gather and throw a party. Arun chose my birthday.

I went there along with my family, my Husband and my two kids (a boy and a girl). All the old people were happy to see me. And yes, Arun was very happy to be around me. He had finished his studies and still acts as consul to many of his friend’s problems. It was a fun filled party and Arun promised he would visit me someday. He said goodbye to me and then handed over my kids one lollypop each and said, “I hope you two don’t fight with each other”.

On my way back, I noticed a change in my husband. He was a new man. The smile in the corner of his lips and the glitter in his eyes were playing with me. It is one of the occasions when a man bows down to his wife. He understood the reason why I did not want to pursue my career any more. He knows that I want my family, my children to learn all the values I have given to those kids. He knows it all now, just that we never have to say anything about it to each other…

Author’s Note

Author has tried his best to depict the life of a little warrior. We all talk about the fast life and the world outside. But everyday millions of kids (secure or insecure ones) fight their own battle. May be we all have something to learn from them?

Baarish

Baarish ki boondein kuch yaadie le aati hai,
Mere maan mein koi ahsaas sa jagati hai.
Kabhi baho mein liya tha tumko humne,
Wo daman ki mehek charo aur bikhar jati hai...

Baarish ki boondein kuch yaadie le aati hai,
Mere kano mein koi sur sa jagati hai.
Kabhi gori kalaiyo pe chudiya penhaie thee humne,
Wo chan-chan aaj bhi sunayi deti hai...

Baarish ki boondein kuch yaadie le aati hai,
Mere dil mein koi tasveer banaa deti hai,
Kabhi teri nazar utaari thee humne,
Wo Khil-khilaati haasi aaj bhi nazar aati hai...

Baarish ki boondein kuch yaadie le aati hai…